With the 31st of October virtually upon us, we thought we would encourage our valued customers, and you dear blog reader, to grab a bit of escapist fun with both severed hands.
Until recently, Halloween was very much an American thang rather than a British, or indeed London, celebration. But its popularity seems to have grown like an evil possessed pumpkin over the years until every child and their hound from hell is knocking doors and begging for sweets, treats and hard currency.
If you’re wearing a) hairy paws and a full-face werewolf mask, b) a hazmat suit and oven gloves, or c) you’re wrapped from head to toe in bandages, you can probably still go and bug your less vulnerable neighbours. Just make sure your kids keep at least two metres away and wash the fake blood off their little hands afterwards.
But with a second wave of you-know-what threatening to engulf the NHS, it’s probably safer to confine your Halloween partying activities to your immediate family, support bubble and the privacy of your own home. But hang on, before you get the step ladder out and start redecorating…
The supermarkets are awash with skulls, skeletons, zombie make-up, witch’s hats, Freddy Krueger masks and, of course, every shade of pumpkin under the moon.
Putting the pumpkins aside for a moment, as experts at decluttering and freeing up space in your home, Attic Self Storage would politely suggest that you don’t spend hours art directing your living space with black drapes, giant hanging bats and a plague of plastic squeaky rats. Subtle and minimal is the way to go if you want to avoid having to use your favourite Quidditch broom to sweep up glitter, spray cobwebs and the dust of the undead for two days.
(Mind you, if you do have a genuine Egyptian Mummy in a spring-loaded coffin that you like to get out to scare the kids each year, we’re only too happy to provide secure storage at one of our curse-free stores across London).
Did you know that your average pumpkin is technically a gourd, part of the squash family and also a fruit? Feel free to amaze your friends and family with that nugget.
Of course, carving pumpkin heads has taken on something approaching Turner Prize proportions amongst some of the more creative and competitive parents. But do you really want to spend an afternoon teaching your kids how to swear, lacerate their fingers and scoop pounds of perfectly edible food into the bin?
We’ve got a scarily simple solution to offer. Leave the carving knives in the cutlery drawer and reach for the art box instead.
Choose scary squashes, ghoulish gourds and a selection of ugly deformed fruit and vegetables and get ready to turn them into the most frightening pumpkin heads ever to appear on your street.
All you need are felt tip pens, a splash of paint, some tea lights and a bit of imagination. For your amusement and entertainment, the backroom technicians at Attic have handcrafted the creepiest cast of celebrities ever to emerge from the flickering light of the green room.
Can you guess who they are yet?
1) Donald Trump (pumpkin & mini bananas)
2) Boris Johnson (yellow squash & red chili pepper)
3) Madonna (white gourd & lady’s fingers)
4) Dracula (aubergine & ketchup)
5) Ant & Dec (butternut squash & orange gourd)
6) Dominic Cummings (warty gourd & glasses)
7) Chewbacca (yam & vampire teeth)
8) Little Mix (3 gourds & a potato)
9) Gordon Ramsey (yellow cauliflower & breadsticks)
Finally, here’s the revolutionary Eco-Friendly bit – after you’ve displayed them in your window and scared away any passers by, you can wash them and eat them.
Well, maybe not all of them, but definitely the pumpkins.
And just to prove it, and to show Gordon how much we love him really, here’s his recipe for Pumpkin Soup with Wild Mushrooms
Happy Halloween everybody!