After months of staying at home, zooming the grandparents, binge-watching Netflix and badgering our kids to ‘get off the gaming console and get on the computer’ to do their homework, there’s a new challenge facing great British parents. You’ve only got a week or so to enjoy some kind of last-minute family holiday before your socially distanced family unit has to follow the science and start living in a brand-new post-lockdown remix of the real world.
So, where can you get away from it all without getting locked out of the country? How can you enjoy some quality time together after spending so much of the year in enforced imprisonment with your loved ones? Have you even got enough money to take a break right now?
Attic Self Storage has some last-minute late summer holiday advice to offer frazzled families all across the country.
We’re Going To Miss You, Sunshine
Long haul travel is pretty much out of the question at this moment in history. Even the closest resorts in mainland Europe are probably a bit of a ferry crossing, flight, hike or cycling trip too far, as September hurtles towards us.
Even if you can find hotel, pension, gîte, gästehaus, paradores, casonas, caravan or camping accommodation in our neighbouring continent this late in the season, are you willing to put your family through the uncertainty of going away without knowing for sure if you’ll be able to get back again?
Do you really want to lie on a beach or visit the local roman ruins whilst constantly checking your mobile (think of the Roman charges!) for Home Office updates, ever-changing government advice, cancelled flights, the latest R rates and whether or not you’ll have to quarantine for six months when you come home?
Non, we thought not.
Staycation For The Nation
The cheapest, most sensible idea is probably to stay at home and make the most of your existing accommodation. Especially if you don’t have the option of ringing up some rich old aunt and begging to move into the East Wing of her Scottish castle.
If you’re lucky enough to have a garden, this is the perfect opportunity to take advantage of your outdoor space, by making the most of the beloved camping equipment, deck chairs and croquet set that you’ve had in storage (at Attic if you’ve got any sense) for the past few years.
A Festival of Family Fun
2020 saw Glastonbury cancelled, All Points East rescheduled, Latitude locked down, Love Supreme dumped, Womad wiped out, and the Isle of Wight handed back to David Icke in an Illuminati U-turn.
The only place you can still go glamping without worrying about being washed away by flash floods, trampled by marauding cattle or tracked and traced at every move is your own back yard.
Carnival (Europe’s largest street festival) isn’t happening this August Bank Holiday for the first time since 1966. So if you want to hear the music that you love, and have all the home comforts within easy reach, best pitch your tent in the back yard, fling open the French windows and blast Abba’s Greatest Hits out across the patio.
When it comes to reclaiming your freedom, you (Theresa) MAY feel the urge to dance through a wheat field in ecstatic abandon. But do try and observe the country code and local bylaws at all times.
Please be aware that, with the early autumn harvest season rapidly approaching and more rain forecast, certain members of the rural farming community may be tempted to set the dogs on you as they bellow “get orf moi laaaaand!’ and let loose with a double-barreled shotgun.
Welcome to the new, kinder, post-lockdown Britain.
Rediscover The Delights Of Your Own Island
If enforced isolation is driving you stir crazy or Covid-19 restrictions have made your home feel like a prison and made you desperate to get away for even a few days, there’s a whole itinerary of other reasons to leave the passports in the kitchen drawer. Have a look online for the amazing mini breaks and family friendly hotel options that are currently available all around this incredible little island in the North Sea.
Visit the far east for the huge skies and flat landscapes of Norfolk and Lincolnshire; head oop north for the delights of Durham, the lake district or the lochs of bonnie Scotland; go down south for the new forest and good old shingle beaches of Brighton, Bournemouth and beyond; or take your wagon train west for Stonehenge, cheddar gorge, Somerset cider, Devon clotted cream teas and on into Cornwall to visit the Eden Project.
Do remember though that if you decide to cross the Bristol channel at any point, ‘the rain in Wales stays mainly in the Wales’.
The Last Resort
Of course, you could just think to hell with the summer of 2020 and concentrate instead on getting the kids ready for their imminent return to school. Buy their new uniforms, make them tidy up their rooms, set them to work weeding the flower beds and repainting the hall. You’ve only got a few days left to get the most out of them, so you might as well make your wee ones realise that a return to the classroom isn’t such a bad idea.
Attic Self Storage has branches all over London now, so you could take them on an exciting trip to retrieve their winter coats and rugby boots, put away the inflatable paddling pool and pack away the PlayStation until they do as they are bloody well told.
Finally, Something For Young Lovers
If you don’t have kids at all, you really don’t know what fun and games you’ve been missing during this lockdown. But Attic’s burgeoning list of facilities across the capital are still ready and available for you if you fancy a day out bonding over boxes with your significant other.
Stay safe and keep your sense of humour. It might be the thing that makes Britain great again.